At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
