end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
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you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
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Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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