Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
