dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
