Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize