Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Found your dick twin last night
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
