guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Can I color on your dick again?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize