wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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