there's paper in my vomit.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
