so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
