My liver just broke up with me...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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