so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Randomize
