were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I don't deserve a penis
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize