Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
