I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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