shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
