this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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