The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I could fuck to npr.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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