I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize