Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
