Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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