How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
