just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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