I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize