How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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