Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
