She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
