weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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