Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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