i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize