You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
