I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
