Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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