you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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