If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
