i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
