That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
