Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
