break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
