we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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