so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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