Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
