you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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