you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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