do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
