Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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