i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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