she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
