I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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