I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
