Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
