3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Randomize
