I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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