Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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