Sponge bath it is.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
