I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
cat food counts as protein by the way
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
