There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
