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so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
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