I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
