Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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