I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
