um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
