Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
